To a Louse

Written in the Habbie dialect, Robert Burns’ poem, To a Louse, sees the narrator pondering over a louse he spots crawling on a lady’s bonnet in church. The louse does not care about class distinctions and regards all human beings equally, as potential hosts.

To a Louse

Robert Burns

Original

Ha! whaur ye gaun, ye crowlin ferlie?
Your impudence protects you sairly;
I canna say but ye strunt rarely,
Owre gauze and lace;
Tho’, faith! I fear ye dine but sparely
On sic a place.

Ye ugly, creepin, blastit wonner,
Detested, shunn’d by saunt an’ sinner,
How daur ye set your fit upon her-
Sae fine a lady?
Gae somewhere else and seek your dinner
On some poor body.

Swith! in some beggar’s haffet squattle;
There ye may creep, and sprawl, and sprattle,
Wi’ ither kindred, jumping cattle,
In shoals and nations;
Whaur horn nor bane ne’er daur unsettle
Your thick plantations.

Now haud you there, ye’re out o’ sight,
Below the fatt’rels, snug and tight;
Na, faith ye yet! ye’ll no be right,
Till ye’ve got on it-
The verra tapmost, tow’rin height
O’ Miss’ bonnet.

My sooth! right bauld ye set your nose out,
As plump an’ grey as ony groset:
O for some rank, mercurial rozet,
Or fell, red smeddum,
I’d gie you sic a hearty dose o’t,
Wad dress your droddum.

I wad na been surpris’d to spy
You on an auld wife’s flainen toy;
Or aiblins some bit dubbie boy,
On’s wyliecoat;
But Miss’ fine Lunardi! fye!
How daur ye do’t?

O Jenny dinna toss your head,
An’ set your beauties a’ abread!
Ye little ken what cursed speed
The blastie’s makin!
Thae winks and finger-ends, I dread,
Are notice takin!

O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us!
It wad frae monie a blunder free us
An’ foolish notion:
What airs in dress an’ gait wad lea’e us,
And ev’n Devotion!

An English translation

Hey! Where’re you goin’, you crawlin’ vermin?
Your impudence protects you thoroughly,
I cannot say but you swagger rarely
Over gauze and lace,
Though faith! I fear you dine but sparingly
On such a place

You ugly, creepin’, blasted wonder,
Detested, shunned by saint and sinner,
How dare you set your foot upon her –
So fine a lady!
Go somewhere else and seek your dinner
On some poor body

Off! in some beggar’s temple curls squat:
There you may creep, and sprawl, and scramble,
With other kindred, jumping cattle,
In shoals and nations;
Where horn nor bone never dare unsettle
Your thick plantations

Now hold you there! you’re out of sight,
Below the ribbon ends, snug and tight;
No, faith you yet! you will not be right,
Until you have got on it —
The very topmost, towering height
Of the Miss’ bonnet.

My word! right bold you set your nose out,
As plump and gray as any gooseberry:
O for some rank, mercurial resin,
Or deadly, red powder,
I would give you such a hearty dose of it,
Would give your behind a thrashing!

I would not have been surprised to spy
You on an old housewife’s flannel cap:
Or maybe some small ragged boy,
On his undercoat;
But Miss’ fine Lunardi bonnet! flee!
How dare you do it.

O Jenny do not toss your head,
And set your beauties all abroad!
You little know what cursed speed
The blastie’s making!
Those winks and finger-ends, I dread,
Are notice taking!

O would some Power the gift to give us
To see ourselves as others see us!
It would from many a blunder free us,
And foolish notion:
What airs in dress and gait would leave us,
And even devotion!

FERLIEn., adj., v.Also ferl(e)yfairl(e)yfairli(e)fairelyfarl(e)yfairilyferalie
I. n. 2. Used contemptuously of a person or animal, sc. vermin; a monstrous creature seen in hallucinations.
STRUNT, v.2, n.2Also stront.
I. v. 1. To walk about in a stately or affected manner, to stalk, strut with a bouncing self-confident air.
SAIR, adj., n., adv.Also sare, saer, †sar.
I. adj. 7. Of anything unpleasant, untoward or immoderate in gen.: serious, considerable, sad, thoroughgoing. Often used as a simple intensive. Adv. sairlie, -y, very much, thoroughly.
SIC, adj., pron., adv.
I. adj. 1. Such
SWITH, adv., int., adj., v.Also swyth(e), swithe, sweith, swieth.
I. adv.2. Used exclamatorily, and passing into the usage of II. below.
II. int. Quick! off! away!, gen. followed by awa(y). Freq. as an order to a dog.
HAFFET, n.Also haffit; haffat; halfit; hufflit, hufud.
1. That part of the head above and in front of the ear; the temple, the cheek.
2. Gen. in pl. Locks of hair growing on the temples. Also used attrib. in comb. haffet-lock.
SQUATTLE, v.
1. To lie low, nestle, lie squat, sprawl.
SPRATTLE, v., n.Also spratle; sprottle.
I. v. To scramble, struggle, sprawl. Also fig. Vbl.n. sprattling, sprottling.
FATTERALS, n.pl.Also fatt’rels, fattrels, fatt(e)rils, faderils.
Ribbon ends, loose pieces of trimming; anything loose and trailing. Rarely in sing.
SOOTH, n. Eng.
1. Truth, Phrs. In truth; really. See Scot. Suith.
SUITH, n., adj., adv., v.Also suth(e), sith; †sieth; shuith; Sc. forms of Eng. sooth.
I. n. 1. Truth, verity, in exclam. phrs. (by) my suith, upon my word, to tell the truth, in honest sooth.
DRODDUM, n. Also drodum.
The posteriors. Also in n.Cy. dial. Often in phrs. to dress someone’s droddum, to give someone a thrashing, to punish someone, to drim the droddum o’, id., see Drim, v.2
FY, int. Also fye, fey, fie.
1. An exclamation to incite one to hurry; make haste!
Phrs. and combs.: (1) fy-gae-by, used ludicrously for diarrhœa; (2) fye-gae-ride, expressive of great haste, flurry, urgency; (3) …; (4) fy-gae-to, a fluster, disturbance, ado; (5) fye-haste, a great hurry, used ludicrously.
BLASTIE, n.
A shrivelled dwarf, an ill-tempered or unmanageable child or animal, a term of contempt.
Though Faith!
  • Colloquial expression of disbelief, surprise, frustration, excitement, or anger, e.g. I don’t know what to say! I’m speechless!
  • Probably adopted as an alternative to expressions like God help you, God help me, God only knows, and Lord only knows.
WYLIECOAT, n. Also wylicoat, wilie-, wil(e)ycoat, weilycoat, weillie-, willy(e)coat, -cote, willy kit; wellycoat, wellicoat; and ne.Sc. forms wallicoat, wa(a)laquyte, wally kwite, wulloquite; and reduced forms wallie, wylie.
Applied to a garment resembling a frock or smock made of some warm material and worn between the outer clothing and that next the skin.
1. A man’s garment: a kind of long under-waistcoat or short undercoat usu. of flannel with sleeves and reaching to the thigh, to give extra warmth in cold weather.
3. As worn by children: appar. a sort of frock worn as an outer or under garment.
BAG LUNARDI, n.
A hot air balloon. [The Italian Lunardi was the first aerial traveler in England (1784).]

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